


'I Love You!'

by tainted-tash (tainted_tash)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-08-05
Packaged: 2018-02-11 21:17:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2083467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tainted_tash/pseuds/tainted-tash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Voldemort's temper goes one step too far. Harry shows him the error of his ways in a most amusing way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	'I Love You!'

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by the lovely Speedy Tomato. Thanks for doing this!
> 
> Further credit to Speedy for throwing this idea at me!
> 
> JK Rowling owns Harry Potter, I just like to mess with him. No copyright infringement is intended. 
> 
> This is a crackfic. Very little seriousness and a lot of OOCness.

'I Love You!'

Voldemort winced and grumbled when he heard the annoying fur covered toy call out yet another of its infuriating phrases.“Harry! What have I told you about that infernal piece of Muggle technology?”

Harry came through the doorway chuckling. “Oh come on, you know how much Annabelle loves that toy.”

“Yes, but I do not.”

“Well you shouldn’t have bought her it then,” Harry groused.

Glancing up sharply, Voldemort retorted. “If I had known it would annoy me so much, I wouldn’t have bothered.”

“It clearly stated on the packaging that it talked, reacted to movement and sound, and had several phrases programmed into it.”

“I’m hungry!” Called the Furby.

“So is my snake,” the Dark Lord murmured.

“You can’t feed a toy to Nagini.”

“No, but if it were real I would!”

“That’s a horrible thing to say! It isn’t Annabelle’s fault.”

Voldemort dropped his head into his hands. “No, it isn’t her fault. But that toy is quite possibly the most irritating thing I have had the misfortune of coming across.”

Harry chuckled. “She’ll grow tired of it after a while.”

The sound of tiny feet thundered into the room. “Daddy! Look!”

“I love you!” Cried the toy.

Harry took the toy and smiled down at Annabelle.

“I love you!” It cried again.

“Reducto!” Voldemort snarled.

The electronic toy was reduced to a small pile of ash while Harry’s hands were scorched and red. Annabelle then burst into tears and fled from the room.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Harry hissed, muttering a quick healing charm to tend to on his hands.

“That toy was nothing but a menace!”

Harry scowled. “That doesn’t give you the right to blow it up! Not only that, Annabelle just witnessed you hurting and using a curse at me. You know what her home life was like before coming to us!”

“You were not seriously injured.”

“No, but I could have been. Would you have blown it up if Annabelle had been holding it?”

Voldemort blinked. “No, of course not.”

“Oh, but it’s okay to blow it up in mine? You will go out and get her a new one. Right now.”

Voldemort opened his mouth to protest but shut it seeing the look on Harry’s face. Grabbing a money pouch, Voldemort rose from his desk and donned his cloak. Grumbling under his breath he took a pinch of Floo powder.  
“…toy is the fucking bane of my existence. Diagon Alley!” Disappearing in a flash of green flames, Voldemort glared balefully at Harry just before he was whisked away.

Reappearing in the Leaky Cauldron, Voldemort ignored the bartender and went into Muggle London. Locating the toy store, he bought another Furby for Annabelle and Floo’d back home.

Thrusting the toy at Harry, he ignored the glare his lover gave him and returned to the paperwork he had been sifting through before the damn toy disturbed him.

He saw Harry leave the room from the corner of his eye and sighed. It went against his nature, but he knew he should apologise. Not just to Harry, but to Annabelle, too. Voldemort knew he must have scared the child, badly, and was fully aware of the background she came from.

The poor thing had repeatedly watched her father beat her mother and hex her. Annabelle had also witness the night that he father went too far and murdered her mother.

Harry had been on duty that night. Being the only Auror in the area, he’d heard Annabelle’s screams. Entering the house he’d found Annabelle huddled in a corner, staring at the end of her father’s wand.

A fight ensued and Harry had walked away heavily wounded with two Aurors holding him up and Annabelle in his arms. Harry had come home that night and told Voldemort they were keeping her.

The Dark Lord had not wanted children, but seeing Harry stumble through the Floo bruised, bloodied and clutching the small child, he had relented.

He didn’t regret getting formal custody of Annabelle. Behaviour wise, the child was nothing short of an angel. That's why knew he had been wrong blowing up the toy, especially while Harry had been holding it.

Sighing again, the Dark Lord laid down his quill and put his wand in his drawer then locked it. Annabelle should never have to be afraid of him. Dark Lord or not he cared for that little girl.

Poking his head round Annabelle’s bedroom door he found Harry trying to coax Annabelle to take the new Furby.

“No. If I don’t play with it. I can’t annoy Papa,” Annabelle murmured.  
“You weren’t annoying him, sweetheart. Papa has a lot of work to do and that sometimes makes him a little grumpier than usual.”

Annabelle giggled. “He’s always grumpy!”

Pushing into the room, Voldemort perched on the edge of Annabelle’s bed. “You do not annoy me, child. Yes, I have been… grumpy lately and I apologise for that.”

Annabelle peered from beneath the covers and stared wide-eyed at the Dark Lord.

“See? I told you he was just grumpy. I’ll make you a deal. Papa won’t be grumpy for the rest of the night if you leave the Furby switched off until tomorrow?”

"Okay, Daddy. I can put it back on in the morning?"

Voldemort answered, "Yes, you can. Annabelle, I know I probably seemed scary earlier, but I promise I would never hurt you or your father."

Annabelle nodded solemnly. "I know. It was an accident."

The Dark Lord have a half nod. "I lost my temper and acted without thinking. It won't ever happen again."

Kissing the child's forehead, Voldemort rose and left the bedroom. 

Harry tucked Annabelle in and told her a quick story, one of his own lesser graphic escapades at Hogwarts. Within minutes her breathing had evened out and she was fast asleep. Closing the door with a soft 'click' Harry went in search of his lover. 

"Thank you," he said, leaning against Voldemort's desk. 

"That toy will still piss me off tomorrow, but I won't lose my temper like that again. I shouldn't have hurt you."

Harry shrugged. "No major harm done. I'm healed and Annabelle has a Furby again."

The Dark Lord scowled. "Indeed, though bought against my will."

Harry sighed and threw up his hands. "We've been over this already. Annabelle will grow tired of it in a week or two."

Voldemort grumbled but nodded. "I pray for the former."

Harry laughed. "It isn't that bad. I'll look for a volume button tomorrow and see if I can at least turn it down a little."

"How about you just throw the damn thing away," Voldemort muttered under his breath. 

Harry glared. "You're trying my patience. She's a child. Annoying toys are going to appeal to her for a short time. You can't blow up or throw away every one that she gets because it gets on your nerves."

"No, but I can limit how many ridiculous Muggle toys Annabella receives."

"Do that and I'll start limiting how much time you spend in our bed," Harry thundered. 

Voldemort stood so quickly his chair flew back. "You're walking on thin ice, Potter."

Harry narrowed his eyes and the use of his surname. "You just broke the ice."

Slipping his wand from its holster Harry levelled it at the Dark Lord. 

Voldemort's eyes widened when he remembered his wand was locked in his desk drawer. 

Harry's lips moved silently and a jet of purple light shot from the tip of his wand. 

Voldemort didn't feel anything, but judging by the sadistic grin in Harry's face, he would find out before long. 

Whirling away, Harry sauntered off to their bedroom. The snick of the lock sliding into place told Voldemort where he would be sleeping that night. 

Sighing heavily, Voldemort retrieved his wand from his desk and set himself up on the couch. 

Tomorrow, he had some serious making up to do. Harry had often found it amusing that he was the only one Lord Voldemort apologised to. But they both knew why. Without Harry, Voldemort was nothing. The one time Harry had left, Voldemort had not cooed. 

Drifting into an uneasy sleep, Voldemort didn't notice the small purple creature watching over him. 

\- - - o o o 0 o o o - - -

Voldemort woke bleary eyed to Annabelle stood next to him giggling. Groaning, he heaved himself into a sitting position. 

"Morning, Papa."

"Good morning, Annabelle. Have you eaten yet?"

"I'm hungry!"

Annabelle giggled. "I'm not. Daddy made breakfast while you were sleeping. It's on the table."

"I'm hungry!" A familiar cry sounded.   
Voldemort bit his tongue and counted to ten. Annabelle followed behind him giggling away. He was pleased the child hadn't begun to fear him after his outburst last night. 

Sitting at the breakfast table he found eggs sunny side up on toast. His stomach grumbled loudly in appreciation and Annabelle laughed.

"I'm hungry!"

Voldemort took a deep breath. "Annabelle, please go feed your Furby. He is quite obviously hungry."

"Papa, he's still in his box."

"Annabelle, I can hear him complaining, please go feed him."

"Papa, I promise, he's not here. It's the one you have."

Voldemort frowned. "I assure you, Annabelle, I do not own one of those infernal blabber mouths."

 

"Then why is one near your shoulder?"  
Glancing sharply at each shoulder Voldemort gaped. There, at his left, sat a purple Furby. 

"Annabelle, please locate the off switch on this."

Annabelle grabbed the toy and looked for the Velcro fastening hers had but found none. 

"Papa, it doesn't have one," she whispered. 

Voldemort closed his eyes and counted to ten again. It wasn't Annabelle's fault.  
"I'm hungry!"

Voldemort glared at the purple monstrosity. "How do I feed the blasted thing."

Annabelle wiggled her fingers. "Put a finger in its mouth."

Grumbling under his breath the Dark Lord stuck a skeletal finger into the contraction's beak. After a minute of vile suckling noises the Furby belched. 

"Excuse me!"

Glaring daggers at the Furby, Voldemort returned his attention to his breakfast. 

Tucking happily into his eggs and toast, Voldemort studiously ignored the hovering purple fur ball. 

"Let's play!"

Voldemort snarled at the toy. 

"Waah!" It cried. "You scared me!"

"Good," the Dark Lord muttered. 

"I'm thirsty!"

Harry entered the room chuckling. "I see you've already met your new friend."

"I should have known this was your doing."

"Come along, Annabelle. Leave Papa to his breakfast."

The child slipped over to Harry and took his hand. “What are we doing today, Daddy?”

“We’re going to the park. Papa needs to go to the Ministry today, so there’s no point in us staying inside.”

“Can I bring Toby?”

“Who’s Toby?”

“My Furby! I named him last night. He looks like a Toby.”

Harry smiled. “Of course you can bring him. Go and get him.”

After Annabelle tore from the room, Harry then turned to face the Dark Lord, the smile dropping from his face.

“The more you mistreat the toy, the more annoying it will become. You need to learn not to treat Annabelle’s toys so destructively. Perhaps it might teach you some anger management along the way.”

Voldemort glared. “I am not some naughty child you can reform. It was one loss of control, Harry! I have to go to the Ministry later and you expect me to take this damned thing with me?”

Harry smirked. “Don’t worry. I owled ahead this morning. They are aware of your… situation.”

“You are going to pay for this, Potter!”

Harry offered another sadistic smile. “Not half as much as you are. I’ll see you later on. Come on, Annabelle!”

Taking the child’s hand as she thundered back into the room. He made sure she had a tight hold on Toby and Disapparated them.

Snarling to himself, Voldemort tried to ignore the Furby’s chattering. Getting what he needed in order, Voldemort Apparated to the Ministry.

As the Minister for Magic, it was part of his job to hold these weekly meetings to make sure that each department was running as smoothly as it should be.

The Dark Lord tried to spell the Furby silent and invisible, but both failed. Growling in frustration, Voldemort snagged his cloak and passed it to a Ministry official that offered to take it. The toy floated silently beside him.  
Entering the meeting room, Voldemort ignored the confused stares some were giving him. “Let’s get this out of the way. Yes, there is a toy following me. Don’t bother to ask me any questions, because you won’t get answers. Let’s just get this meeting finished and ignore the damn toy.”

“I’m hungry!”

Someone laughed. Voldemort swung round and levelled his wand at Amelia Bones. Casting a mild slashing hex, he took satisfaction in watching the woman flinch as a cut opened on her cheek.

“I said ignore the damn thing!”

“I’m hungry!”

Closing his eyes and counting to ten- twice- the Dark Lord took his seat and waved everyone else down to theirs. The sooner he got the meeting over with the sooner he could go home.

Voldemort began with the DMLE. “Make your report, Bones.”

Amelia applied a tissue to her cheek. “Auror arrest stats are at their best since the new system has been implemented. The Carrows are currently under arrest for torturing a local businessman who refused to lower their prices.”

“Then they are where they belong.” Voldemort turned to Granger. “And how are things in DMCL?”

Hermione sat forward. “The law for marriages between humans and creatures had been passed. I expect the law for werewolves to be employed without discrimination to be passed next week. I’m still working on the law for getting donor centres set up for the vampires. It’s taking a little longer than I had anticipated.”

Voldemort frowned. “What is holding it up?”

“I need the Head Aurors signature and he refuses. Apparently, setting up donor centres is essentially treating humans as nothing but blood banks. The law has been worked so that only people willing to donate may be drunk from. A charm will be set up so that if any vampire tries to use their thrall, an alarm will sound and they will be banished.”

“Dare I ask who the current Head Auror is?”

“Ronald Weasley.”

Voldemort blinked. “Your ex-husband?”

Hermione grimaced. “Yes. He apparently got promoted after divorcing his know-it-all Mudblood wife.”

Voldemort returned her grimace. “Times have changed. I have to agree that despite being Muggleborn you are still the brightest witch I’ve ever known.”

“Thank you, my Lord.”

“If you cannot get the vampire law passed by the end of the month, notify me.”

“Yes, my Lord.”

Voldemort opened his mouth to move on to the DMMA… “I’m hungry!”

Snarling in fury, the Dark Lord pulled out his wand and blasted the toy to smithereens.

“As I was about to say, since the DMMA sees such little action, I will be closing it. Arthur, I was hoping you would join Miss. Granger on the DMCL, however, you may go where you please.”

Arthur nodded. “I’d be quite happy to help Hermione.”

“Very well, start on Mon…”

“I’m hungry!” Cried two voices.

Head snapping to the left the Dark Lord stared in horror at two purple Furbies floating over his shoulder.

Furiously, he jabbed a finger into each of their beaks. “Now, I believe last on our agenda in the interrogation process. As I understand it, Severus has devised a new form of Veritaserum?”

Severus rose. “Indeed, my Lord. An Occlumens such as myself can block the effects of the serum. The new formula bypasses that ability and also works around the werewolf’s natural resistance to Veritaserum.”

Voldemort nodded then winced when both Furbies belched- loudly. “Excellent news, Severus. Have there been any side effects as yet?”

“None that we are aware of.”

“Let’s dance!”

“Again, that is excellent. You have outdone yourself, Severus.”

“Thank you, my Lord.”

“Let’s play!”

“Shut up you infernal things!” Voldemort blasted them.

“Before we conclude the meeting is there anything that I need to be aware of?”

Hermione coughed gently. “It’s uh… not Ministry related.”

The Dark Lord nodded. “Very well. Dismissed.” He waited for everyone to leave before turning to face Granger. “I assume this is about Annabelle and her birthday in a fortnight’s time?”

Hermione nodded. “I was hoping to have a little party for her.”

“We are already having one at the manor two weeks from tomorrow. You may come, of course. Annabelle would be pleased to see you, as would Harry, I imagine.”

Hermione smiled. “I’ll be there. Thank you.”

“Let’s dance!”

Paling, Voldemort turned to find four Furbies now floating around him.

“Harry?” Hermione asked.

“Yes. It would appear that each time I destroy one, two more appear in its place.”

Hermione shook her head. “I’m not getting involved in this one.”

Voldemort sighed. “Indeed. Good day, Miss. Granger.”

“As to you, my Lord.”

\- - - o o o 0 o o o - - -

The two weeks leading up to Annabelle’s birthday were stressful and riddled with arguments. Something along the lines of ten Furbies were now following the Dark Lord around and his patience had just about reached its end.

Meetings at the Ministry had become impossible. Voldemort now did them by Floo call. No meeting could be held or taken seriously with almost a dozen purple monstrosities shouting ridiculous things every few minutes.

Voldemort was standing in the main dining hall, decorating the vast room with purple balloons, streamers, confetti. He’d managed to get hold of a purple unicorn piñata and a purple Furby cake that resembled Toby stood on the table.

Party bags had been put together the night before, mostly filled with purple things. Including a purple toy wand for each child. Waving it emitted purple bubbles for them to pop.

“Play with me!”

Tempering his anger, Voldemort quickly tickled the Furby and ignored the giggling the toy made.

Arms wrapped around his waist, Harry said, “This looks amazing. Annabelle is going to love it.”

Voldemort laid a hand over both of Harry’s. “I believe she will be most impressed. Miss Granger will be attending.”

Harry nodded. “Most of the Weasleys are, too. Bill, Charlie, Ginny, Fred and George should be here in a little while.”

Voldemort gave a quick nod while he continued putting up decorations. "Are all her presents wrapped?"

"Yeah, I did the rest of them while you were working last night."

“I’m hungry!” Cried one of the purple abominations.

Harry immediately stuck his finger in the toy’s beak.

“I see you’ve realised what happens if you blow them up.”

“Indeed. Though trying to make me control my temper only seems to make me lose it more often. I don’t understand why, after all this time, you feel the need to change me now.”

Harry sighed. “Annabelle wanted a puppy for her birthday. I had to tell her no.”

“Why? You know I have no qualms with pets.”

“No, but your temper is a real issue. The toy cries out when it wants something. A puppy wouldn’t be able to voice what it needed, it would just whine or paw at you until you figured out what it required. After your reaction to the Furby, I couldn’t allow her to have one in case you lost your temper with it.”

The Furby burped and Harry rubbed its stomach.

“I love you!” It cried.

Stopping what he was doing, Voldemort turned to face Harry. “Is that what the Furby was about?”

Harry nodded. “I wanted to see if she could handle caring for something on a daily basis. I also needed to see if you could tolerate something that would require a lot of attention and you couldn’t.”

Voldemort avoided Harry’s eyes. “She’s going to be devastated. She’ll think we’ve changed our minds and had gotten one as a surprise.”

Harry sighed heavily. “I don’t want to point the finger of blame, but I don’t want her to witness you blowing the dog up in a fit of rage.”

Knowing that he had truly ruined everything, Voldemort swept from the room. “Come along, Lyle & Co!”

Harry smiled when behind Voldemort’s back, one of the purple toys winked out of existence, happy to have been acknowledged.

Harry picked up where his lover had left off with the decorations. It had broken his heart to tell Annabelle that she couldn't have a puppy. Harry knew the now four year old was more than capable of caring for one.

The Dark Lord sat in his study deep in thought. He mulled over everything Harry had said and sighed. The younger wizard was right. He really did need to control his temper.

“Play with me!”

Voldemort ticked the Furby’s belly and patted its head.

“I love you!”

“Indeed,” Voldemort murmured, a wry smile twisting his lips.

Grabbing his cloak, the Dark Lord Disapparated along with his entourage of Furbies.

\- - - o o o 0 o o o - - -

By the time Voldemort returned the party was under way. Annabelle seemed not to have noticed his absence but judging by the look on Harry's face, the young man had. 

Six Furbies floated behind him, each asking for something. Calling out to Annabelle and her friends he asked for a little help. 

"Can I keep one?" Rose, Hermione's eldest, asked. 

"You'll have to ask the one you want," the Dark Lord advised. 

Plucking one out the air Rose solemnly asked if it would like to be her friend. 

"Let's play!" 

Squealing in delight, the Weasley child ran off and within seconds all the Furbies were gone. 

\- - - o o o 0 o o o - - -

Avoiding Harry carefully, he made sure to greet each child and spend time with Annabelle. The four year old was unusually subdued and Voldemort felt guilty. 

"Present time!" Harry called out. 

The Dark Lord watched while Annabelle opened her gifts and thank everyone individually. 

By eight most of the children were falling asleep. Voldemort himself had Rose Weasley curled up in his lap, thumb planted firmly in her mouth. 

Handing the child to her mother the Dark Lord slid off to his study. When Annabelle came in to say goodnight he pulled the child into his lap. 

"Your father tells me that you wanted a puppy for your birthday?"

"Yes, Papa," Annabelle answered quietly. 

"I see. And what kind of puppy did you want?"

"I don't know. Something fluffy."

Harry peered in from the doorway. Remaining in the shadows out of sight he listened to the conversation. 

"Why were you told you couldn't have one?"

"Because you might lose your temper. Like you did with the Furby," Annabelle murmured. 

"Annabelle, no matter how angry I am, I would never hurt you."

"I know, Papa. Daddy says you wouldn't mean to hurt the puppy, but your temper gets the better of you, and you curse before you think."

Voldemort sighed. "I am guilty of that with the toy, yes. However, the toy was an object, not something alive."

Annabelle frowned. "But you always said to treat my toys with respect, like I would a person."

"I did Thank you for reminding me. Sometimes, in extreme cases, I have trouble keeping my temper in check. But, I'll make you a deal. If I try really hard not to lose my temper, and you tell me if you think I'm going to, then I promise not to blow anything up."

Annabelle frowned deep in thought. "Okay! It's a deal!"

The four year old stuck out her hand for Voldemort to shake. With a serious expression on his face, he did so. 

"Now, onto less serious matters. There's something under my desk. It's been pestering me for a while now. Would you be a good girl and look under there for me?"

"Yes, Papa."

Wheeling his chair out of the way he removed the ward containing what he had snuck off to buy for Annabelle; a black, white and grey husky puppy came bounding out and jumped on the child. 

Annabelle caught the excited ball of fur and screeched when it licked her face. 

"Is it mine, Papa?"

"He is. On one condition."

"Yes, Papa?"

"Do not teach him how to talk!"

Annabelle laughed gleefully and nodded. "I promise. I love you, Papa!"

Voldemort squirmed awkwardly but pulled Annabelle into his arms. "And I you, child."

Tearing from the room with the puppy hot on her heels she stopped in the doorway. "Can I call him Rocky?"

"Call him what you want, child. He is yours."

Bouncing away, the Dark Lord watched as Harry slid from the shadows. 

"I was furious at you for leaving her party like that but now I understand why, so I'm not so angry anymore. I also see you figured out how to get rid of the purple abominations."

Voldemort scowled but his lips twitched. "It would seem a great act of kindness toward them was all it required. What better kindness than to give them to children who would love them?"

Harry nodded. "Simple yet ingenious."

"Indeed. But I'm glad you're here. There's something I wish to discuss with you."

Harry made to sit in the chair across the desk but Voldemort motioned Harry over and pulled the younger wizard into his lap. 

"I know that we were granted permanent custody of Annabelle and up until now it has been enough."

Harry frowned. "I don't understand."

Reaching into his desk drawer the Dark Lord pulled out a set of Ministry papers. "I want to formally adopt here, so that we are her fathers on paper."

Harry sat stunned, mouth hung open, brain unable to form words. 

"Harry? You do not agree?"

"Don't be ridiculous. I just never expected this from you. I know you care for Annabelle, but it isn't something you show often."

"I am not prone to revealing my emotions, Harry, you know this."

Annabelle trudged into the room, a purple bundle in her arms and tears streaming down her face. 

"Papa! Toby broke and he won't fix!"

Voldemort knew he'd regret it later but waved his wand and muttered a quick Reparo! The toy fixed itself. 

"Thank you, Papa!"

"I love you!" Cried the Furby, much to the Dark Lord's horror and Harry's amusement. 

Shaking his head and smiling softly, Voldemort knew he was making the right decision. Stroking Annabelle's cheek he whispered. "And I love you, child."

\- Finis -

**Author's Note:**

> Again, thanks to Speedy for giving me the idea. It was fun to write. 
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyed it!


End file.
